Are you sad and lonely
Don’t feel okay
Do you go to parties and not know what to say

Are you misanthropic
Agoraphobic
Do you find yourself getting in your own way

Well, we’ve got something for you

It’s friend pills, friend pills
Come and get your friend pills,
Talkin bout friend pills, friend pills
Come and get your friend pills,
Make you feel good
Make you feel great
Make you feel good

Your eyes will be brighter
Your teeth will be whiter
Always feel secure, get your old self back

Enjoy conversation, center of attention
When you tell a joke, everyone will laugh

Side effects may include...
Insomnia
Anal leakage
Perpetual hard-ons
The love boat
Extraterrestrial invasion
Big sticks
Paranoia
Social anxiety